PIE CRUST THE EXTRAORDINAIRE

mini-quiche

If you have disks of pie crust* in the freezer you're ready to serve guests and family with a host of appetizers, desserts, or light meals this holiday season. Mini-quiche, sweet or savory, crust wrapped cheese and prosciutto, tiny sweet pies served hot from the oven with ice cream on the side, an open free formed tarte filled with sauteed thin sliced apples dotted with

amuse-gueule

apricot jam and toasted walnuts, roll grated cheese into the crust and cut into sticks for an irresistible appetizer, cut into rounds, pumpkins, apples, Christmas trees, or hearts - there's a cookie cutter for everything - sprinkle with sugar for cookies, or bake and serve topped with a precooked topping or any cold spread.  And don't forget pot pies to use up ham, turkey or chicken and that last little bit of tasty gravy.

A round for the freezer!

So what do I mean by disk? It can be the entire recipe formed into a flat disk for easy thawing and rolling. Or, [after the the dough has rested in the fridge], you can roll it out and cut it into circles or other fancy shapes, wrap carefully in plastic wrap, freeze flat [I use a cookie sheet] then put in a zip lock bag. These little life savers thaw very quickly, then are ready to be turned into a dinner or cocktail party delight.


* BASIC PIE DOUGH

1 3/4 cup AP flour
1 tsp salt
1 1/4 stick unsalted butter well chilled
2 tbls. vegetable shortening

5 tablespoons chilled water

pastry   cutter

Cut the already cold butter into small die and, along with the vegetable shortening, chill until you've measured out the flour and water. If you have time chill the flour as well. When you've got everything ready use a wire whisk to mix the salt into the flour then dump the diced butter into the flour and mix to cover the bits with flour then, using a pastry cutter, cut the the dice of butter until it resembles flakes [for the most part - it won't be perfect] then add the chilled vegetable shortening and cut that to flakes as well [ditto]. Then begin adding the cold water very slowly mixing with a fork, spatula or spoon until it holds together the way you want it to. This is the trickiest part: too little water and the crust is lifeless, to much and it's tough. Remember gluten - that which makes bread chewy - only develops in the presence of water. You need enough water so the crust holds together but no so much it becomes tough. Further,  how much water this takes depends on the water content of the flour itself. You may need more, you may need less. Then dump the mass onto a lightly floured counter, gently form into a thick disk - flour, put on a plate, cover with plastic wrap and chill for at least an hour before rolling.

It may take a few times to get the feel for the perfect pie crust, but when you do you will be a pie crust expert and everyone will ask you how you do it. Whether you tell them or not is up to you.

Have you discovered the joys of blind baking?

UNDER-PINNINGS

Flour, butter, vegetable shorting, ice cold water, a pinch of salt, and a bit of patience. I've long had a fascination with pâte brisée.

Americans call it short crust pastry* or pie dough. The French call it brisée or broken because that’s what fat does to flour – shortens or breaks the long chains of gluten to make a crust tender. Flakiness is another matter.

I first started making crust by hand, switched to a food processor, and finally went back to a large metal bowl, a pastry cutter and patience. I started by hand because Julia Child told me to. You have to get your 'hand' she said in one of her many books. So I did, until I was gifted with a food processor and found how much faster that was. In other books I found even Julia was recommending them. They are faster, but the results weren't quite the same. It didn't take long to realize that a machine will never have a 'hand'. It won't know if it's processed the fat too fine, if the water is too warm, if it's overworked the flour. So I went back to making pie crust myself. It’s easier to control things if you are using your hands. So I think Julia was right the first time.

What are you controlling? The amount of water, the size of the butter pieces [which I find best resemble ‘flakes’ rather than ‘peas’] and the amount of time the dough is worked. Too long and the gluten will rise to the occasion and your crust won’t. It doesn't take much longer to make crust by hand and it's infinitely more satisfying. And pretty simple, really.

Start with cold ingredients. Cut the butter into small dice and chill. The smaller the die, the easier to incorporate into the flour. Chill the shortening too, although it’s more forgiving, the flour if you have time, and make sure the water is very cold. You need a good pastry cutter to start but will end up with you fingers looking for the lumps of butter you’ve missed flattening them with a solid squish. Then slowly add the cold water mixing gently as you pour with a fork or a small spatula or your fingers. This might be the most critical step. Too little water and the crust won’t stay together, too much and it will be hard and tough. Depending on relative humidity and the water content of the flour you're using, you may need less water, you may need more. When you’re happy – and it’s going to take more than a couple of times and maybe some tears to get your 'hand' - gather the dough mass into a ball, flatten the ball into a disc, dust liberally with flour, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least an hour.

tarte de pommes

So what are you making? Pie? Cheese straws? Tarte de Pommes a la Normande? A savory or sweet turn-over? Tiny shells to be filled with home made jam and topped with toasted slivered almonds? A quiche where you'll blind bake the crust for maximum crispness and serve with a fresh and tasty salad?

pissaladière

A crisp pissaladière,  the delectable onion & tomato tarte from Nice decorated with a handful of black olives? 

What ever you're making, roll the pie dough out accordingly and chill again for about 30 minutes, then assemble and bake. When your guests, or even your family ask, ‘How did you do that?’ Just smile and say ‘It’s all in the hand.”

THE DARK SIDE OF DINNER

Kaye George

We're welcoming Kaye George, author of the hilarious CHOKE,  the first in the Imogene Duckworthy mystery series, to Cooks Inn Mysteries as it's first guest blogger, and we're very excited she's stopping by. 

Kaye is a short story writer, a mystery novelist, and the president of Sister in Crime Guppies Chapter. She reviews for "Suspense Magazine" and writes for several newsletters and blogs. She lives near Austin, Texas.

You knew there was a darker side to food, and it's not burnt toast. Today Kaye takes us to the dark side as she writes about:

Using Food as a Weapon

Should you? Could you? Sure you could. I have, and others have too.

I suppose the best way to use food is as a vehicle for poison. Joseph Kesselring did a masterful job in "Arsenic and Old Lace," a stage play later adapted for screen. In case you've never seen the play or movie, the demented old ladies used elderberry wine to deliver arsenic, strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide to the men they murdered. They wanted to make sure they got the job done.

I'll bet most mystery writers have used poison at one time or another. Dame Agatha used it, among other things, in "And Then There Were None." She used poison in several other works also. Sir Arthur used it at least twice: "A Study in Scarlet" and "The Adventure of the Devil's Foot." Shakespeare resorted to poison in "Hamlet" and "Romeo and Juliet."

But food isn't the weapon when we're poisoning. Poison is. How about killing with actual food?

You can use food that people are allergic to, such as peanuts or shellfish. I used toxic mushrooms in an unpublished work. My research, alas, showed that the mushrooms were unlikely to cause outright death, but I used them to unbalance the guy so he was easier to kill later by conventional means--gunshot.

The most famous example is Roald Dahl, a twisted individual if there ever was one. Delightful, but twisted.

In Dahl's "Lamb to the Slaughter" Mary, the wife of a police detective, murders him, trancelike, with a leg of lamb from the freezer when he implies he's leaving her. By the time the investigators are ready to leave, she has cooked the lamb and, when she offers it to them, they all sit down to eat--and destroy--the weapon.

The background on the story is pretty interesting. Here's a link to wiki: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb_to_the_Slaughter)

I myself used a package of frozen sausage to kill off Imogene Duckworthy's Uncle Huey in "Choke." That long, narrow tube is just the right size to cut off oxygen. The research for that was fun. I bought a few packages of frozen, uncooked sausage first of all. I let one thaw to see how many hours would bring it to the consistency I wanted when the body was discovered, then backtracked for the time of the murder. I then got another one out, thawed slightly, and put a shoe print in it. My idea was to have a print that could be identified. It didn't work as well as I wanted it to, but close enough to use.

Just to show there's nothing new under the sun, here's a real story about a man murdering a woman with Bockwurst: http://social.druidsfoot.com/forum/-178/1714/view_21304/

 And a mug shot of a gruesome famous sausage murderer: http://goo.gl/SqlC5

 Both mine and Dahl's tales are humorous in our use of food weapons. Kesselring's is, too. Can one be serious when killing with comestibles in fiction? I'm not going to try it.

Has anyone out there used food as a weapon? Read a mystery that uses it?

Here are some places you can find Kaye:

Homepage: http://kayegeorge.com/
Blog: http://travelswithkaye.blogspot.com/
Blog: http://allthingswriting.blogspot.com/


Don't forget to pick up a copy of CHOKE!!!
http://goo.gl/ajnXu